junglegirl: living live in the wild world


Photo by urbanwoodswalker

I have a shameful little secret. I know, I know, I shouldn’t blame myself like that, but really I know better. SO much better, and yet…here I am. I’m detoxing from caffeine. Green tea and sometimes Darjeeling with almond milk, but still. Uggh. It is AMAZING how much my state of mind has been dependent upon this drug, off and on and off and on again. It goes like that. For a few years I’ll be super pure, and then out of the blue, I’ll take it up again for a few months at a time and then, finally, clear myself again. So I find myself on the tail end of what I hope is my last encounter. Basically, it has to do with highs and lows that happen in my nutritional intake, so juicing and bluegreen algae  – will play the main role in the detaching, naturally. What else has the nutrient density of rocket fuel? And I love vegetable juice and look forward to the day when my garden is strong enough to just live on it alone!

After quitting caffiene I feel great for the first week, generally, clear and gentler and more present. Then the parts of my emotional consciousness that depended upon the horsepower of caffeine to get me through the day began to stake their claim. Mwa haahaha! I feel the ancient and very communal spirit of the morning ritual’s vise-like grip on the collective consciousness of America, and most of the world, and every few years, I’ve been getting sucked in too. One major unconcious factor is that it is a way to unite with millions of others each morning in a nearly effortless way. That need to connect is both a beautiful revelation to me and much better served by trading in drug use for a very conscious morning meditation with a specific intention to unify myself with only the best of the Universal energies for that day. That and a big, rich glass of nutrient dense vegetable juice. Though that will be around 10 or 11am for me. I think my body likes the protein in the almond milk I added to tea so I am doing a glass of maca almond or brazilnut milk in the mornings and nutrient saturation with juice a little later on. Juice for me is always vegetable by the way. Fruit juice is just way too much sugar, though I’ll occasionally have my favorite fruit smoothie, but with nuts or fruit seeds added to balance out the sugar for the body.

Also, it’s really challenging to live and work around people with the false energy that caffiene generates.  And it really requires immense strength to step out of the energy field of that circle. It helps to seek out and live and work with others who have moved on beyond it too, so it can be life-changing and perhaps scary to let it go.  Maybe that is why so many never attempt it with much energy. It really takes you off the old grid.   But there is a whole other, much more powerful grid there for each of us who finds the courage to step out into that realm. You don’t even have to try – it will find you because the Universe supports a genuine life force!   All we must do is pay attention and embrace the fears and unfamiliarity of a new routine.   I really have compassion for the process of quitting any drug and the circle of ‘friends’ involved. It’s a tremendous endeavor, and it is so vital to do it now. If you are reading this and still power your self on caffeine, it’s time to ask your self why you lack energy in the first place and take personal responsability to remedy that.

You may ask, why mess with a ‘good’ thing?  How bad can it be?  Because the quality of life and the opportunities that present themselves to someone who chooses to elevate their being are astonishing and not to be missed!  Your  nervous system is then vibrationally compatible with the highest truths of your Self and of Existance.  I encourage everyone to take the leap for that reason alone.  I know this because part of my ‘medicine’ has been about going back and forth over the years and noting the mechanics of the whole thing.  So if going back and forth is where you are at – be kind to yourself about it and remember to keep paying attention to how much different and better you feel and function on your own Source energy.  Eventually you will no longer accept compromise.

Naturally,  insights arrive to help support my mind in it’s decision to self-empowerment. Aside from the energy it gives the malnourished and improperly fed, oops, I mean average American, I feel that one of the reasons caffeine has power is because all people seek some sort of unity and intimacy, but lack the skills/courage to live it directly – with each other – and therefore ‘use’ caffeine as a surrogate in order to bridge the gap, or more precisely in order to fill the hole that genuine intimacy and community provides. Caffeine dependents will assert that the caffeine culture IS a community, but therein lies the delusion: take away the caffeine and where does your relationship to that ‘community’ go?  If there was genuine intimacy and community your connection would be as strong as ever, because community is created by heart connections, not a shared drug. And that’s how you can unmask a common delusion and begin to peel yourself away from a delusional community and attract a genuine community based upon actual intimacy that comes from being real.  Feed yourself based upon nourishment instead of flavor (yes, flavor too, but I mean overly-spiced food that masks dead or missing nutrients. Perfectly ripe organic vegetables, eaten separately so they can digest properly, are so flavorful. They taste of the vegetable itself.  Shocker, I know : )

Mmm…So caffeine. It really is a demon spirit, or at least, I can see how it is easy to perceive the power of the collective addiction in that way. And now it’s gone. I”VE RECLAIMED MY PERSONAL POWER and given my energy field back over to my body! And now it’s time to rebuild the body’s nutritional reserves so that my fuel is nutrition and not a socially sanctioned form of speed. Thank God for small organic farmers who grow their crops properly and with love. And frankly, I feel that in the modern world, where people must work in shockingly toxic environments with people they have no real connection to, superfoods like spirulina are THE replacement energy that allows for the amount of energy a modern lifestyle requires. That is the energy I want to function on. And I am.  A radical life shift is that easy:  saturate yourself with nutrition instead of drugs. How exciting!

It propels one to an entirely different realm than the one inhabited by caffeine addicts.  Healthy life.  Nothing is break speed, all is God speed, which means perfect timing in all areas of life. Looking sharp in slow motion. It takes bravery to step out of the frey. Hey hey!  er, ha?

Here is a familiar and supportive poem that fits right in to some of the deep psychological mechanics underlying addiction:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

~~~ Marianne Williamson

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