junglegirl: living live in the wild world

commitment and raw love

commitment to real food, real health and real love

I was inspired to write this post after reading the rawmodel’s commentary on raw lovers. Some of the commenters also had some interesting things to say. Like everything, editing your choice of lovers based upon the mutuality of your lifestyles seems to be a very personal choice.

And so without further ado, I’ll join the frey to say that there appears to be a connection between commitment to a relationship and the way people approach integrating raw food into their lives. How committed one is to a change for the better in diet, and that’s not necessarily about all raw, appears to be related to ones capacity for commitment. Or at least, it’s an interesting mirror of where one is with regards to commitment as a general concept in the moment at hand. I came to this observation by way of noticing the way other live food people commit on all levels within their lives. Taking the time to consider this interesting insight is a factor in my need to make and commit to choices in other areas of my life as well, which I have found to be a personal challenge lately.

When I first chose to go raw, in 1999, it was a 100% effortless choice. I simply chose to commit and it was what it was from then on. I did no research; there was virtually nothing on the web then, anyway. The inspiration came over me and it felt completely right and so I simply put every vegetable there was into the blender with some avo, a spoonful of miso and some water and drank that and that alone every day for the next 4 months or so. I’ve picked up a few recipes since then, haha :D

Then I made a major move to another state; began eating solid food like salads and nori wraps and began a relationship with someone whose interest in raw actually helped to inspire my own journey. But by the time we entered into a relationship, he had sunk deeply into meat and junk food and, in retrospect, was a very inappropriate lover for me to have taken on but, alas, I did… And – this is where it gets interesting. As soon as we broke up – a year later – is when raw began to be very difficult for me. I felt it creeping in while we were in our relationship, but the challenge really hit me by the time we’d broken up. I was still vegan, as I had been for years, and still eating more healthfully than probably 90% of the human population, in America anyway, but what had been an effortless joy became a feeling of depletion and struggle. My question is: did I transfer my relationship woes into my relationship with food? It certainly looks like it from afar. I wonder, though, so let’s take an exploratory gander at it, shall we? I think it’s very interesting for a number of reasons.

People rarely talk about these kind of thoughts, I know, but it is something I’ve noticed that bears looking into if only to see if it goes anywhere interesting. Do we, especially women, take on the imbalances of our lovers? Or is it only ever a reflection? I really wonder sometimes. It’s likely both, so we’ll look at a few perspectives here. I have a feeling that the answer is probably entirely dependent upon the person you are with and the dynamics of your relationship, so there will likely be no straightforward answer. If you’re still reading, heh, then let’s begin.

Upon reflection, I see that in some ways I did take on some of his food issues. It may be inevitable that women do this. It is one of the reasons why finding a lover who you really truly love is so important for women. Actually, more important is that he loves you. It’s because there is a LOT of work involved in being a woman. I haven’t had the opportunity to ask such a deep question of any men yet, but I wonder if they have this capacity for taking on the issues of their lover or is it strictly a female thing, based upon the dynamics of, um, the ‘bowl and spoon’ nature of sex inherent the male and female physique. Are ye following me?

I suppose gay men would have similar issues if this is true, but they are releasing into an area dedicated to, er, release, so maybe not. Whew! HEAVY stuff here, folks. Um, Hello? Is anyone out there still with me so far? If so, then Please comment (nicely) so that I know I am onto something here worth discussing! It can be lonely when you wander this far into um – analysis? [Wincing at the sting of such a pun. My friends:] I make my attempts at humor to bring a bit of light onto the scene, but it goes without saying that only a few hardy souls have the constitution for this stuff. I know. Perhaps with good reason, hmmm…

For me, it’s just more fun if I am consciously engaging my mind, body and spirit. And what I’ve noticed in my life is that live food gives you a great deal of clarity about life issues. How much of this is something that bears discussion is something that I suppose I am discovering in this moment, yes?, and I hope everyone remembers to be gentle and respectful with any comments to the contrary, if there are any because for me, this is about sharing my experience both for the sake of my own clarity and so that it will be easier and easier for all of us. And things like this come up. That is part of the human experience that we address as it comes instead of drowning it in some distraction like recreational drugs or, like a big bowl of food, cooked or not. It’s ok, it’s the mind. No need to be afraid or in denial of the inner brainiac, just recognize that and make adjustments as necessary for optimum truth and happiness.

In retrospect, after writing all of this, which I Shall post!, I’ve come to a conclusion that seems useful and true. When I moved, I stopped using the blender. Eating only whole food was not giving me the nutritional density that I got from blender food. Juice was too expensive to live on while I was traveling and also not dense enough for me. So the disintegration of my relationship was very representative of the disintegration of my nutritional profile. A simultaneous meltdown that could easily have been prevented with a bit more of a commitment to my self and a bit more knowledge about the need for nutrient density on my part. Actually, I knew that, but I allowed myself to be distracted by another person’s drama. And it was what brought me back into cooked foods for all the wrong reasons. Grounding, warmth and comfort, especially comfort. It had never been much of a food issue before I met him and honestly, I think I picked it up from him like some sort of viral meme.

And perhaps, when I took away the need for comfort food, I was allowed an example of just how lacking in nutrients my diet had become. A handful of nuts and salad from the organic deli bar, no matter how large the portion, is not even remotely enough nutrition to cover a major move and a new relationship, and I knew that, but I had forgotten, in the move and the relationship drama. This is how it happened for me. I hope that sharing this shines a bit of light on someone else’s relationship with commitment. Food-wise, it’s really about ensuring enough quantity with enough nutrition, at least while you adjust to what your new lifestyle requires of you. After that, remains to be seen in my case, but lately I crave simplicity and freshness over anything else, including diversity. And that leads to every other good thing. Like ‘The Vegetable Garden’, at which point diversity will happen naturally. And that is for another post, because I’d really like to reflect on the above for a while. Thank you for reading, and until next time ~~~

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